I always push myself hard, because I know I can do it;
I always keep myself lonely, because I don't have any patience;
I do everything in fast, because I appreciate my time;
I don't like to talk much, because I hate argument;
I like to be alone, because I know I am good enough, this might be the strength that I gain, thanks to my parent? grandparent? relatives? family? the environment that surrounding me? or God? Is good when I know that I am strong enough, but why? What is the good things that I have done? Can I choose to be weak? It is so true when my mind come out with this kind of thinking "that will be good when there is any one that can be lean on" but I will not admit it because there is no one reliable.
Actually the conclusion for my own is, I don't know where am I belong to. Yes, I might have a lot of lovely family, lovely friends, or lovely partner or any lovely men/women that appear in my life, but why? Why still feeling like not enough? Why still feeling like lack of something? I got so much and gain so much from my life but why? Everything was so good, but what happen to me? Since when I got this kind of feeling is not important, the most important is when the feeling will gone? Please, it is so suffering~
Nowadays, I felt like a bit guilty to post out all the negative thinking. But I know that I will not share anything of mine to anyone, so sorry that I am shouting out by using this method.
